Dark Heart's Desires
by Lord Raa
Summary: Stripped of his strength, Ranma is offered a choice.  But with his choice, he must now deal with the desires of those around him, and how to grant those dreams.
1. Chapter 1

Dark Heart's Desires

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Taste piss? Then you should stop drinking girly beers.

* * *

Part 1 (of x)

* * *

Things were not going well for Ranma at the moment.

He'd been unable to keep a hold of the moxibustion chart that would have enabled Cologne to cure Happosai's use of the "Ultimate Weakness Moxibustion Point" and return his strength.

Realising that he had nothing to stick around Nerima for, he packed what he could carry and left to ponder his next move.

"Ranma," Akane asked in a hesitant voice, "are you really leaving us?"

Turning to look at his fiancée, Ranma took a deep breath. "Yes. I mean, if I can't fight anymore what good am I?"

"There's more to life than martial arts, Ranma," Akane insisted.

"For you, maybe," the pigtailed boy snorted. "I spent the last ten years trainin' and you've seen my test scores. What can I do that don't use my strength?"

Akane was at a loss for words.

"See," the weakened boy sighed. "Look, Akane, I need to go away to think about things for a bit."

"I-I understand," the full time girl nodded. "Will you come back?"

"Maybe," Ranma shrugged as he shifted his pack. "It depends on what I find out about me."

With that, Ranma left Nerima, hoping to find a solution for his problems.

* * *

It wasn't long into Ranma's journey that he was forced to take a rest and catch his breath in a park.

"Damn old freak," he groused as he breathed heavily.

"Is something wrong?" a female voice asked from behind him.

"What?" Ranma nearly jumped up. Nearly, as he was still holding on to his backpack.

"I'm sorry for surprising you," the blonde woman bowed to hide her smile. "My name is Mara, what's yours?"

"Ranma," the pigtailed young man answered.

"No family name?"

"Not at the moment," Ranma answered sadly. "I'm on a trip to find something that will help me."

"Oh, what happened to you?" Mara asked as she sat beside Ranma. "Maybe I can help you."

"I've lost my strength," Ranma admitted with a quiet voice.

"But you look so, so buff," the blonde noted with an approving glance.

"That's because I've been practicing martial arts for ten years," Ranma smiled sadly. "Something happened a few days ago to really mess up my life."

"Tell me everything, Ranma," Mara said in her most caring voice. "Don't worry that we've just met and you know nothing about me."

Ranma looked at Mara and blinked. "What?"

The blonde giggled as if she were a complete airhead. Inwardly, she was berating herself for her slip.

"I think I'd better get going," Ranma said as he stood.

Mara reached out and grabbed Ranma's wrist, stopping the martial artist in his tracks.

As Ranma struggled to free himself, the heavens opened and Jusenkyo's "blessing" took effect.

"Jusenkyo?" Mara breathed as a faint memory started to tug at her brain.

Ranma nodded. "Wait – you know about Jusenkyo? Is there a cure?"

"Not for mortals," Mara confessed.

"Mortals? What are you?" Ranma demanded, her eyes narrowing.

"I'm a demon, Ranma Saotome. I know your name because you're part of an ancient prophesy," the infernal being explained.

"Figures," Ranma muttered angrily.

"Hey, it's not all bad," Mara insisted. "I mean, it'll cure all your problems."

The redhead perked up at that nugget of information. "It will?"

"Yes," Mara nodded. "But only if you're the real Ranma Saotome. Tell me your story."

Ranma took a deep breath before starting her long and tragic tale as the rain stopped.

* * *

A while later and Ranma had reached up to the point where she'd left Nerima.

Mara was in deep thought as she digested the information. 'There's something missing about this Ranma…what was it again? Ah, I remember now – he's supposed to be afraid of cats!'

Ranma didn't like the look on her companion's face. "What are you plannin'?"

"Nothing," the curvaceous demon sing-songed.

Ranma's eyes scanned the area for threats. She didn't detect anything until she felt something brush up against her leg. The redhead looked down and saw the most terrifying thing in the whole, wide world.

"AARGH! CAT! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" the slowly drying martial artist screamed and started running around like a headless chicken.

Mara thought that it was rather amusing, but refrained from laughing out loud. "Ranma," she said after taking a moment to compose herself, "if you accept your role in the prophesy, we can make all your problems go away. Including this cat thing."

Ranma leapt up into the tree Mara was using for shade. "You really mean it? You're not going to try to trick me to get my soul or nuthin'?"

"No," Mara said in a completely honest tone. "If you accept, your destiny is that of the Lord of Desire. Part god, part demon and exempt from rules that govern both sides."

"And what does that mean for me?" Ranma asked as she remained clung to a tree branch.

"Everything will be revealed if you accept, Ranma," Mara smiled sweetly.

"Will I be able to change my mind?" the redhead asked when she stopped trembling.

"If you really want to and can find a suitable replacement," the blonde answered with a shrug. "Please, Ranma, will you get out of that tree?"

Ranma nodded and dropped down to the ground. "Is this my only chance to be back to normal?"

"You'll be better than normal, Ranma. What have you got to lose?" the demoness asked with a pleading look.

The redhead took a deep breath and stood up straight. "Ok. Let's do this."

As soon as Ranma uttered those words, she was bathed in a swirling miasma of light that changed colour from white to yellow, yellow to green, green to red, from red to purple, from purple to blue and back to white.

When the light died down, thirty seconds after it had suddenly appeared, Ranma stepped towards Mara.

The demoness blinked as she took in the sight of this new and improved Ranma. "Oh my…"

"Yes, 'oh my' indeed," Ranma replied with his new voice that was deep yet smooth as silk. The newly reincarnated Lord of Desire smiled as more words rolled off his tongue to please his newest friend's ears.

"It is quite all right for us to get to know each other a lot better. Shall we take a walk, Mara-chan?"

Mara squealed with glee as she attached herself to Ranma's arm.

"No," Ranma admonished.

Mara looked questioningly up at Ranma.

"How can I hug you when I can't wrap my arm around you?" Ranma asked with a pleasant smile.

"How silly of me," Mara giggled as she repositioned herself for torso-to-torso contact with Ranma.

"That's better, Mara-chan. Now why don't you tell me your desires while we walk?"

* * *

To be continued…?

I want you all to know that this is not something that you should take seriously.

It's just a bit of fun that was pre-read by Chi Vayne.

Until laterer comes.


	2. Chapter 2

Dark Heart's Desires

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: May the horse be groovy.

* * *

Part 2 (of X)

* * *

Ranma thought about how his life had changed in the short time he'd been turned into the reincarnated Lord of Desire.

To be perfectly honest, he felt fantastic. His senses were sharper, the curse was gone and he felt like he could look at cats without wanting to revisit his last meal.

What did disturb him a little was the fact that the cute demoness that was clinging to his side was stirring up strange feelings, but the unfamiliarity of these types of feelings was quickly subsiding.

"What's up, Ranma?" Mara asked when she noticed that Ranma seemed upset about something.

"What do you desire, Mara-chan?" the raven haired young man asked. "I mean really desire? Is it intimacy, mischief, destruction of the entire world?"

"You," the blonde smiled.

"Me?" Ranma asked, holding Mara's waist at arms length away from him. "You want to spend time with me, is that it?"

"That's not all of it," Mara admitted with a blush. "I do have a mission to cause mischief among the mortals."

"That sounds like that could be fun. I could grant desires for nice people in the way they wanted them and I can mess with those that aren't worthy," Ranma grinned. He slipped his hands onto Mara's ass, caressing it gently. "I think that your desire to be with me is one that I can grant without hesitation."

Mara was slightly surprised when Ranma leant in and hungrily kissed her on the mouth. It didn't take long for the demoness to realise what was going on and respond in an appropriate manner.

When they broke for air, Mara snuggled up to Ranma and rested her head on his chest.

"I hope that you enjoyed the show," the Lord of Desire said to a bush, "I'm not giving any refunds."

The bush shook as a girl with long black hair stood up with a blush on her cheeks.

"What do you think you're doing, Mara?"

Mara blinked. "Skuld? Why are you standing in that bush?"

"I asked you a question first!" the goddess stated as she prepared to arm a Skuld Bomb™. "What are you doing with that man?"

"We're on a date," Mara smirked. "Find your own beefcake."

Skuld blushed brightly when the demoness started to trace patterns around Ranma's nipples through his form-fitting silk shirt.

"Don't you have any decency?" a scarlet cheeked Skuld complained. "You're as bad as Urd!"

"What? I'm way more indecent than her!" Mara huffed.

"Oh, there you are, Skuld!" a calm, happy voice called out. "We were looking for you."

"Belldandy!" Skuld smiled at her sister.

"Squirt," Urd greeted her youngest sibling. Then she saw Ranma. "Hell-oh!"

"Urd," Mara said with gritted teeth and twitching eye, "what a pleasant surprise."

"Hi, Mara," the platinum haired goddess waved. "What's your name, handsome?"

"Ranma. I'm the new Lord of Desire," Ranma said as he held out his hand for Urd to shake.

"I'm Urd, Norn of the Past and Goddess of Love," Urd said as she shook Ranma's hand. "Perhaps we could work together?"

"I'd like that," Ranma said as he kissed Urd's hand.

"Are you going to introduce me to your friends?" Ranma asked, his smile not leaving his lips.

"Of course," Urd said with a hint of reluctance. "This is Belldandy, Norn of the Present and you've met Skuld, Norn of the Future. They're both my sisters."

Ranma smiled and bowed at the newly introduced goddess.

"Here," he handed a dish to Skuld. "I'm pretty sure that cute girls like you like chocolate ice cream."

"Triple chocolate with hot fudge brownie topping and whipped cream!" the youngest goddess said, her mouth watering. "How did you know?"

"I'm the Lord of Desire," Ranma said as he wrapped his arms around Mara, "It's my job to know things like that. Just as your sister Belldandy wants your father to explain what's going on."

The pay phone nearest to them started to ring.

"I'll get it," Belldandy said before moving to answer the phone. "Yes, Father?"

"¬Belldandy, please put Ranma on, I wish to speak with him.¬"

"Ranma," Belldandy called out, turning to the pigtailed young man. She didn't expect to see him standing behind her. "Oh, you surprised me. Father wishes to speak with you."

"I thought as much," Ranma gave a wry smile. "Hello there, Boss. What can I do you for?"

"¬What's with the flippant attitude? The last time you were out and about you were a lot more respectful.¬"

"Blame it on this Ranma kid. He never had much respect for authority. But I had a feeling that you would want to speak with me. Is this about my advisors?"

"¬Yes,¬" the Supreme Being sighed. "¬I'm beginning to really dislike your latest incarnation. Remember: no one likes a smartarse.¬"

"I'd apologise and promise to never do it again, but you know, I'd just end up making you angry," Ranma said as he winked at Mara. "My choices based on preliminary scans are Urd and Mara."

"¬And just why should I allow that?¬"

"If I pick Belldandy or Skuld, I'll need to pick a more evil demon to balance it out. Mara's not too bad as infernal beings go," Ranma said confidently. "Plus she's easy on the eye."

"¬I swear that you've gotten worse over the years. Just don't do anything that will force me to cleanse the Earth.¬"

"Hey, Sodom and Gomorra was not my fault! Someone got me drunk and bet me that I could make everyone a slave to their own desires!" Ranma insisted. "Hang on, wasn't it you that made that bet with me? And you never paid up! Where is that Yugioh card?"

"¬What? You've yet to settle up over the time you failed to steal Aphrodite's underwear!¬"

"That's because she doesn't wear any!"

"¬A likely story,¬" was the sarcastic reply. "¬Take care of my daughter, I can still smite your sorry carcass, you know.¬"

"Which one and in what way?" Ranma teased.

: BIZAP :

"Ok, that was funnier in my head," a charred and smoking Ranma admitted. "I'm sorry for teasing you about your lovely daughters. I'll make sure Urd doesn't get into too much trouble. Is there anyone else you'd like to speak to since we're gathered here?"

"¬Put Urd on.¬"

"Urd, your father wants a word," Ranma called out, interrupting the glaring match that was going on between Mara and the goddess.

"Coming," Urd growled. When she reached Ranma, her attitude had not improved greatly. "Yes, Father?"

"¬Urd, try not to embarrass yourself too much on your new mission.¬"

"What new mission is this?" Urd asked, unable to keep the disappointment from her voice.

"¬Acting as part of Ranma's conscience: he requires both divine and infernal guidance as part of the Doublet System. He is neutral, but we both have some influence over him. Tell your sisters that I love them and try not to let Mara have more influence over Ranma than yourself.¬"

"What?" Urd asked the dial tone. She looked over to see Ranma and Mara holding each other and smiling. "HEY! Stop that!"

"What?" Ranma asked in deliberately naïve voice. "Don't demons need love too?"

"Everybody needs love," Belldandy answered. "It's just that…"

"Oh, I get it, I'm embarrassing you by acting like this with Mara-chan. Sorry about that, Belldandy-san" Ranma apologised. "So then, Urd, what's the score?"

"I've got to keep an eye on you," the platinum haired goddess said in a resigned tone. "I've got to make sure that you don't get into too much trouble."

"What like this," Mara asked as she held Ranma close to her body, grabbed his butt cheeks and started to kiss his neck.

"Oh my!" the two younger goddesses exclaimed.

"YES! Stop that!" Urd shouted angrily as she charged the embracing couple.

Ranma stopped Urd in her tracks with a look that said "You are not the boss of me. If it pleases me, you will get your turn and not before".

"I've got to get back to Nerima, there are plenty of desires for me to fulfil in ways that could be amusing," Ranma said in a serious tone. "But first, Belldandy, if being around Keiichi makes you happy, then tell him. It'll make him happy. Skuld, Keiichi isn't as bad as you make him out to be."

"But he's a pervert!" the juvenile deity complained. "He's got dirty magazines!"

"No, he's just a young man with normal urges. Besides which, it was Urd that kept pushing him to take the next step. It'll all work out nicely if they've got a chance to go at their own pace once their feelings are known to each other," Ranma said with a reassuring smile.

Belldandy blushed lightly as she considered the Lord of Desire's words.

Ranma decided that his work here was done and prepared to leave. "Urd, are you coming or are you going to let Mara-chan have her wicked way with me?"

"Damn right I'm not!" the Norn of the Past insisted as she took up her position on Ranma's left side.

"No, you're planning to have your own, slightly less wicked way with him," Mara's voice had a significant amount of venom in it.

"Ladies, I'll think you'll find that I do have two buttocks," Ranma said after coughing politely. "You can play with one each."

The trio made their way to Nerima with Ranma actually strutting down the road, his arrogance rolling off him in waves.

* * *

After a short while into their journey, Ranma decided that it was time for some light refreshments.

"Why are stopping at this café?" Urd asked as they took a pavement seat.

"I'm drawn to strong desires, Urd-chan," Ranma explained. "For example that lady in the kimono wants to see her son."

"And what are you going to do about it, Ranma?" Urd asked after ordering some tea and cakes for the three of them.

"Ranma?" the redhead perked up, hope clearly written on her face.

"Yes, Ranma, what are you going to do about it?" Mara asked. "This will be your first proper test of your powers."

The kimono clad woman advanced on the table, her heart soaring. Taking a moment to compose herself, she interrupted Ranma and his friends.

"Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing your name," the woman bowed. "You see you have the same first name as my son. And seeing as you're manly enough to be on a date with two beautiful women, I was hoping that I'd finally found my son."

"Your son wouldn't happen to be Ranma Saotome, would he?" Urd asked, vaguely recalling that the Lord of Desire had a tendency to make his plots and plans look a lot like coincidences.

"Yes, my name is Nodoka Saotome."

"Hello, Mother," Ranma greeted with a smile and a wave. "Long time no see."

Urd managed to stop the table from being knocked over by the turbulence caused by Nodoka's lightning dash to hug her long lost son.

"Ranma! Oh, how I've missed you!" Nodoka said with tears of happiness in her eyes.

"So where were you all my life?" Ranma asked as the refreshments arrived.

"That was your father's doing."

"Why am I not surprised?" Ranma asked rhetorically. "But let's not talk about that fool right now. How are you?"

"I'm very well, son. Now, why don't you introduce me to your lovely girlfriends?" Nodoka asked, getting to the more important questions.

"This is Urd," Ranma gestured to his right. "And this is Mara-chan."

"Mrs. Saotome," the two lovelies bowed.

"Please, call me Auntie Nodoka," Nodoka smiled. "So how is your training coming along, Ranma?"

"I kind of hit a snag earlier today, but I've managed to overcome it," Ranma smiled. "And it's all thanks to Mara-chan here."

Mara blushed as Ranma turned her into the centre of attention.

"What happened?" Nodoka asked, hoping to get more insight into her son's life.

"I was suffering from an attack that had robbed me of my strength. Realising that it was only a matter of time before one of my rivals took advantage of my condition, I left to find a cure. Next thing I know, I'm talking to Mara-chan about being part of a prophesy," Ranma said as he calmly sipped his tea. "Soon after, I met Urd and we decided to come back to Nerima."

"I see," Nodoka nodded. "And your father?"

"He's probably at the Tendo Dojo now," Mara answered. "Wailing that he's been cursed with such a 'weak and dishonourable son'."

Ranma laughed at Mara's dead-on impersonation of his father. "Yep, that's the old panda. Why don't you come with us, Mom? It'll be fun."

"If you'll lead the way, son," Nodoka said standing up. "What did you mean by 'old panda'?"

"Pops has a curse. If he's not there, then splash any pandas you see with hot water," Ranma advised. "Watch out for angry black piglets, too."

Nodoka nodded, unsure of what her manly, yet possibly unstable son actually meant.

* * *

Urd was not as happy as she could be. Yes, she was fondling Ranma's very well toned ass cheek, and he was reciprocating nicely, but the Lord of Desire wasn't giving her nearly enough attention.

The trio of non-mortals stopped 250 metres from the Tendo Dojo.

"Urd, something's bothering you," Ranma stated matter-of-factly. "What is it?"

"It's nothing," Urd lied.

Ranma looked his platinum haired companion in the eye. "Shall we try that again, Urd? Is it because I'm showering Mara-chan with affection?"

"Yes," Urd nodded, embarrassed that her jealousy was so transparent.

"Well, if you want to partake in bukkake, then all you have to do is ask," Mara chimed in. She looked at the expressions on the faces of everyone there. "What?"

"Never mind, Mara-chan. Urd, do you really want me to treat you the same as I do Mara?" Ranma asked. "Your father did ask me to care of you."

"I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself," Urd said, standing up to her full height and smoothing out her slinky black dress.

"Yes, a big girl indeed," Ranma smiled. "Ok, come here."

Urd stepped up to Ranma and was promptly French kissed for a full four minutes. When they broke for air, Ranma wrapped one arm around Urd and the other around Mara.

"Shall we continue or do either of you need to make a pitstop?"

"I'm good," a dazed Urd replied happily.

Mara fumed silently.

"One last thing before you meet the Tendos," Ranma decided.

"What's that, son?" Nodoka asked, hoping that her hunch was right.

"This."

It was Mara's turn to enjoy a bout of tongue wrestling with Ranma, though this round was shorter than Urd's.

'My son is so manly!' Nodoka thought happily.

"Right then, now that we're all ready, let's do this!"

The quartet crossed the small distance to the Tendo grounds and Ranma knocked on the door.

"Hello," Kasumi said as she opened the door. "Oh my! Ranma-kun, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Kasumi," Ranma smiled. "Is Pops in?"

"He's inside with my father. Who are your friends?"

Ranma smiled as he hugged Urd and Mara closer. "I'd rather only explain this once."

Kasumi nodded and led the visitors in. "Father," she called out, "Ranma is back."

"Ranma, where have you been?" Soun asked as he rushed up to greet his wayward son-in-law. He saw Urd and Mara clinging to Ranma's sides and started his demon head attack. "And just who are these trollops that you're cheating on my precious Akane with!"

Urd's shapely, bronzed leg shot out and struck Soun squarely in the nether regions.

"Ha! Missed both my legs!" he said in a voice that was several octaves higher than normal before slowly falling to the floor.

"I'm a goddess of love, not a trollop," Urd growled.

"Ok," Soun whimpered.

"Now that we've got that cleared up, how about I explain what's going on?" Ranma asked in a pleasant tone. "Oh, Mara would you be so kind as to stop that panda?"

"Certainly, Ranma," the demoness smiled.

Mara picked up one of her shoes and stunned the ursine eating machine with a well placed strike the back of its head.

"Ranma, I can't say that I approve of violence against endangered species," Nodoka admonished.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Auntie Nodoka," Mara said with a smile, "that's no ordinary panda. Remember what Ranma said earlier?"

Nodoka nodded sceptically. "I need proof of that claim."

"Who are you three?" Nabiki asked as she walked up to the guests.

"My apologies," Nodoka bowed. "I'm Nodoka Saotome, I'm Ranma's mother. Perhaps it would be best to sit down and discuss things in a civilised manner?"

"Of course, Mrs. Saotome," Kasumi smiled. "I'll make some tea."

"I'll get Akane," Nabiki said, turning on her heal.

"I need an ice pack," Soun groaned from the floor.

"Yes, Father," Kasumi sighed. "Oh Nabiki, Akane isn't here at the moment, she's at a friend's house."

* * *

A few minutes later, the Tendos (minus Akane), Saotomes (though Genma was in panda form) and the immortal beings were seated comfortably around the table in the Tendo family room. Happosai was of on a mission to liberate the silky darlings of Nerima.

"Right them," Ranma said clapping his hands together, "the good news first: I'm cured of my curse and I've got my strength back."

"Oh happy day, the schools will be joined!" Soun said happily.

The panda tipped the nearest cup of tea over its head and rushed Ranma. "How dare you keep a cure from your own father? What did I do to deserve such a dishonourable son?"

"That's almost as funny as the time you trained me in the Neko-ken!"Ranma laughed.

The room fell silent at Ranma's casual mention of his greatest fear.

"Boy, what are you gibbering about now?" Genma demanded, though he was sweating bullets. 'If Nodoka finds out about that…'

Ranma looked his father in the eye. "Here's the bad news: I'm the reincarnation of the Lord of Desire."

"Question, what does that actually mean?" Nabiki asked with her hand raised.

"It is my job to grant desires," Ranma said with a smile.

Now Ranma had Nabiki's interest. "What kind of desires?"

"Pretty much anything," Urd answered, "although Ranma can't bring about the destruction of the world."

"And he can't bring about a utopian society overnight," Mara added. "But things like the ability to eat ice cream and not gain weight and help for the right choices to make you rich and powerful are well within his scope."

'Perhaps Ranma might be able to help me,' Nabiki thought with a small grin. "What are the conditions for granting them?"

"Just the one," the pigtailed young man smiled gently. His smile turned from something that hinted at pleasant memory to one that was designed to attract women and directed it at both Urd and Mara. "You two are great, you know that?"

The goddess and demoness both giggled coyly.

Nodoka was impressed, though Nabiki wasn't.

"And that is?"

"What is?" Ranma continued his little game.

"The condition the must be fulfilled for you to grant desires," Nabiki explained calmly.

"Oh, that. I just have to feel like it," the young Saotome replied as he hugged his new girlfriends.

"I see," Nabiki answered with her eyes narrowed. "And what do your new pieces of arm candy have to do with it?"

"You haven't been introduced yet, have you? Ladies, if you'll do the honours."

"I'm Urd," said the goddess. "I'm Norn of the Past and a Goddess of Love."

"I'm Mara," the blonde in the matching black corset and leather trousers waved. "I'm a demoness. Me and Urd act as Ranma's guidance in matters of conscience."

"Like a devil and an angel?" Kasumi asked, recalling western cartoons.

"Yep," Urd nodded. "We make sure that the balance between good and evil in maintained."

"Why?" Nodoka asked. "Why not just allow good to triumph?"

"Because nature is all about balance," Urd answered. "There's a system in place to stop demons and gods from engaging in all out war. For every demon, there's a god or goddess. If one dies, their counterpart dies as well."

"What about Ranma? Is there a Lord of Abstinence to counter his actions?" Nabiki asked after sipping her tea.

"Nope, I'm neutral in the struggle, that's why they're both here to keep an eye on me." Ranma said as he stroked Urd's hair. "Your hair's so soft, Urd-chan."

"You should feel my skin," the Norn winked.

"All in good time," the new immortal grinned. "You are aware that I'm going to try for a three in a bed romp with you and Mara, aren't you?"

Kasumi's face turned scarlet.

Nodoka nearly whipped out her victory fans and start the "My Son is so Manly, I'll Have Grandchildren Soon!" happy dance.

Nabiki was brought out of her daydream that involved her being the richest woman on Earth by the sound of her father's teacup shattering in his grip.

"You would cheat on your fiancée with two women you've just met?" the moustached man asked in a dangerous tone

"But I love Urd-chan and Mara-chan more," Ranma protested.

"Love them?" Nodoka asked, the fans one step closer to coming out.

"Of course, I love them!" Ranma snorted indignantly. "I don't stick my tongue in just anyone's mouth. I'm not a manwhore, you know!"

"What about my sister?" Nabiki asked angrily.

"Marrying me is not what she desires," Ranma shrugged. "She wants someone that will help her in her quest for recognition in her own right. What makes you think that I'm suited for that?"

"As her husband, you'd stand by your wife through even the worst storm!" Genma insisted.

"What? Like how you did with Auntie Nodoka?" Mara asked "innocently".

Genma paled as Nodoka pulled out a katana. "Yes, dear husband, I think that we need to discuss a few things."

"Like what? Ranma is a man among men, is he not?" the balding martial artist gestured to his son and girlfriends.

"Actually, Ranma is supernatural being, and therefore not technically 'a man among men'," Mara explained.

"Will he be able to have children?" Nodoka asked fearfully. She reached for a sharpening stone and started to hone the cutting edge.

"That depends on whether or not I ever feel like it," Ranma smirked. "But, believe it or not, it's not come up yet."

He looked at his mother and saw the look of concern on her face. "But I can assure you that you will be able to spend many years with them."

"Them? As in plural?" Nodoka asked, her concern slowly changing to hope.

"I think that I would need to have at least one boy and one girl. Possibly one set from each of my advisors," Ranma clarified his remarks as he squeezed Mara and Urd to his body.

Nodoka smiled happily as visions of her cute grandchildren running around filled her head.

"I'm still not convinced that you've got all this power, Ranma," Nabiki said in hinting tone. "I think a small demonstration is in order."

"Sounds like a good idea to me," the Lord of Desire agreed. "Now which desire of Kasumi's should I grant?"

Kasumi blushed as her thoughts went over what desires she had.

"She does want to be something other than a domestic servant," Urd smiled.

"I don't think she'd mind a little be more excitement," Mara said as she stroked her chin. "Perhaps you could make her a magical girl?"

"I don't see why not," Ranma nodded. He clicked his fingers and Kasumi was hidden from view by a green mist.

When the haze dissipated, everyone in the room looked to where Kasumi was sitting and blinked when they saw the figure that had replaced the Tendo homemaker.

"Oh my," the scandalously dressed young woman exclaimed.

"Is that you, Kasumi?" Nabiki asked, not believing her eyes.

"Yes, Nabiki-chan," Kasumi nodded.

Soun managed to get his mouth working next. "B-b-but you look so different!"

"What do you mean, Father?" Kasumi asked, only seeing a small change in her clothing and not her hair colour.

"Look in the mirror, Kasumi-chan," Mara winked.

The mortals were stunned to see the full extent of the changes that the oldest Tendo child had gone through. Kasumi had gained a few centimetres in height and some more muscle tone. Her most noticeable change was in the colour of her hair, it had gone from chestnut to a vivid purple.

But that was not what was concerning her father the most. That little detail was reserved for the change in wardrobe.

"RANMA! JUST WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PRECIOUS KASUMI!" Soun's demon head screeched. "WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES!"

Kasumi's outfit was now consisting of shiny black, thigh high leather boots, a mostly gauze like apron that had a touch more opaque material in certain places and a skimpy black silk thong.

Ranma just gave Soun a look that told him to sit down and shut up.

"Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed. "This is most improper!"

Ranma smirked as he called out to hallway. "How is it, Kasumi? Do you feel like a warrior of love and justice?"

"But what will people think when they see me like this?" Kasumi asked in a panicky tone. She noticed that something was in one of the pockets that were strategically place to provide her with a modicum of modesty. "Ah, I have a mask."

Not that the small piece of black satin would do much to hid anybody's identity.

Kasumi completed her ensemble and strode back in to see continue the discussion on Ranma's future. It was then that she spotted evidence of Genma's Jusenkyo curse.

"You have shed hair on my rugs for the last time, Baka Panda!" the now enraged purpled hair lovely declared. "Prepare to taste the Promethean Rage of the Domesticator!"

Those assembled winced at the beating Genma received at the hands of Kasumi's alter ego when she used a toilet brush.

"SCRUBBING BUBBLE BLAST!" the Domesticator shouted.

The part time panda was knocked outside by a stream of rock hard bubbles that left a sparkling trail in its wake.

"Oh my, that felt rather good," Kasumi declared.

* * *

To be continued…

This was pre-read by Chi Vayne and was half written when before I posted the first chapter.

Are there any questions?

Until laterer comes.


	3. Chapter 3

Dark Heart's Desires

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: We politicians live in the real world.

* * *

Part 3 (of X)

* * *

Nabiki stared at Ranma. She was not sure what to make of her sister's transformation from a housekeeper to a bizarre magical girl with penchant for cleaning.

"Are you sure that's what Kasumi wanted?" Nodoka asked hesitantly. "I know that a life of domestic servitude is boring, but I'm not sure that she approved of the costume."

"Meh," Ranma shrugged. "Personally, I like it. But that's because it's going to arouse desires in people. If Kasumi wants to go back to the life she knows, then all she has to do is ask me."

All eyes in the room turned to a cleaning Kasumi.

"Is there a problem?" the Domesticator asked as she finished sweeping up the panda hair.

"Kasumi, are you really happy about this magical girl thing? I mean, you'll have to fend off the perverts," Nabiki explained. 'I hope that this means that I'm not going to be in trouble.'

"Or it means that she'll get some attention from men," Urd amended.

Kasumi blushed. "Attention, like from Doctor Tofu?"

"I can't see him turning you down, Kasumi," Mara smiled warmly. "Trust me, if you walk up to him dressed like that and kiss him, you'll know how he feels about you."

"But I really shouldn't go out dressed like this," the magical girl protested. "It's most improper."

"No-one said that you have to fight evil, Kasumi," Ranma said. "If you want to, you can go back to cooking and cleaning for your family. Hell, if you want to, you can still do that and fight injustice by night."

"I don't think that that's a good idea, Ranma," Nabiki said cautiously. "I mean, what if she meets up with Happosai?"

"Shhh! Don't mention his name!" Soun frantically gestured.

"Sweeto!" came a cry from a bouncing bundle.

"I think not!" Kasumi declared. "Dirty thoughts lead to big messes!"

The Domesticator reached into one of her apron pockets and pulled out a bar of industrial soap. "Sneaky Soap Surprise!"

Happosai was stopped dead in his tracks and began to choke on the item that had been unexpectedly thrust into his mouth.

Coughing up the soap, the diminutive pervert looked at Kasumi with an expression similar to that of a whipped puppy. "Kasumi-chan, how could you?"

A kick to the back of Happosai's head cut off any more attempts at manipulation.

"Quite easily," Ranma smirked. "You've got a lot to answer for, old freak."

"Ranma?" the pervert asked from the floor. "What happened, why can't I get up?"

"Because I have got my strength back, you old goat," Ranma laughed. "And I feel the need to repay you for that moxibustion point. Ooohh, you want to bury your face in cleavage, do you? Well, that can be arranged. Would someone be so kind as to hold Pops down?"

"Son, what are you planning?" Nodoka asked. "I'm not sure that I like where this is going."

"Don't worry, Mother, I'm just granting a desire. It's what I do these days," Ranma winked.

As Mara and Urd help an unconscious Genma down, Ranma hoisted Happi up by his neck. "Prepare for a rude awakening."

The early evening was filled with the screams of the Grandmaster of Anything Goes as the Lord of Desire forced the face of the most prolific pervert in Nerima into the ward's most notorious glutton's ass cleavage.

"Oh my, that's just wrong, Ranma-kun," Kasumi admonished.

"I know," Ranma smiled evilly. "But to make up for it, I think it's time to grant a desire in the manner it was intended. Does anyone have any suggestions?"

"You could get a huge fortune," Nabiki casually mentioned, "with no strings attached."

"And why would Ranma want to do that?" asked a smirking Urd. "I mean what would you learn if you to just acquire a large some of money?"

"I'd learn how much I like shopping," Nabiki smirked back. "Come on Ranma, make with the wish-granting!"

"It is a rather selfish desire," Ranma mused. "I'm not sure if I should. What do you think, Mara-chan?"

"It's all relative, you know," the demoness shrugged. "What constitutes a large sum of money varies from place to place."

"You are absolutely right," Ranma flashed his demonic girlfriend a killer smile. "Here, Nabiki, try this."

Clicking his fingers, Ranma made a square box appear on the table next to the teapot.

Hesitantly opening the velvet covered box, Nabiki peered inside. "Uncut diamonds?"

"Yep, approximately half a million US dollars' worth, but before you get too excited," Ranma started his warning, "you can't spend them because they're what's known as 'conflict diamonds'."

"What are those?" Kasumi asked.

"The gems that are mined by child labourers in war-torn Third World countries and have international embargoes on their trade," Urd clarified helpfully.

"Thanks," Nabiki muttered bitterly. "This is hardly what I had in mind, Ranma."

"Well you should have realised that you have to give in order to receive. Kasumi has parted with an amount of dignity for her magical powers. The old freak is suffering for his desire to nuzzle cleavage," Ranma said in a lecturer's tone. "You wanted something for nothing, and I'm not prepared to do that at the moment."

"Ok then, I understand now," Nabiki smiled. "What sort of thing do I have to give up for some wealth that I can use as I want?"

"I want you to help Akane," Ranma answered after a moment's contemplation.

Nabiki was surprised by this condition. "Help her how, exactly?"

"I want you to help her find happiness," Ranma replied with a smile. "I want you to make amends for the way you treated her."

"What do you mean, Ranma-kun?" Kasumi asked.

"Selling pictures of her to Kuno," Urd added. "That was pretty low of you, Nabiki-chan."

"Now, now," Mara defended, "she did need to make some spending money, since her father did nothing but lounge around the house all day."

"That's awful!" Nodoka gasped. "And you call yourself a man!" she scolded the Tendo patriarch.

Soun looked suitably ashamed when the kimono clad woman pointed her katana at him.

"Can you believe that he and the panda had the nerve to lecture me about honour?" Ranma said in an aside to Urd and Mara.

"Such hypocrisy," Urd shook her head. "What do you think, Mara?"

"I'm shocked and appalled, Urd. Personally, I think that we should leave this place and get to know Ranma a lot better," the blonde said as she stroked Ranma's chest. "Let's leave these not so nice people and spend some time getting to know each other a lot better."

"That sounds like a plan," Urd nodded. "Where shall we go?"

"You should come with me to your home, son," Nodoka suggested. "I would like to hear about your adventures."

Ranma considered that option. "Will there be food?"

"Yes," Mrs. Saotome said happily.

"Then, I think it's time I got reacquainted with my mother," Ranma announced. "Mara-chan, Urd-chan, let's go."

The immortals all held hands and followed Nodoka out of the house.

"Hey! What about my fortune?" Nabiki shouted after the visitors.

"I changed my mind. You get nothing," Ranma replied not even turning to face her.

"You can't do that! You promised me a fortune!" Nabiki called out.

Ranma turned around and showed her his most arrogant smirk. "I decide what desires I grant and how, not you. Before you plot your petty revenge, I think you should know that I can alter people's desires. How do you feel about Kuno?"

Nabiki's face lost its colour. "Y-you wouldn't…"

"Let's just say that I don't have the inclination at the moment," the Lord of Desire grinned. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get reacquainted with my mother. Do what you wish with the panda."

* * *

A while later and Akane was slowly walking home. She wondered how her off-and-on fiancé was doing. Her arrival at the dojo was made only slightly more notable when she saw that Genma was panicking about something.

"Probably wondering what to do about Ranma's problem," she mused. "Or more likely what he's going to do about joining the schools."

What she didn't expect to see was a severely traumatised Happosai shivering and complaining that "he'd never be clean again!".

But that was until Kasumi took notice.

"Did I miss something?" the brunette asked innocently. Striking a pose, she called out what sounded like some freaky magical girl's activation phrase.

"I call upon the power of the Cosmic Purifier!"

A swirling mist around seemed to make her conservative yellow house dress disappear, though it kept her modesty. Soon it had dissipated and revealed the Domesticator in all her uniformed glory.

Akane blinked as she took in the sight of her oldest sister dressed in a scandalous ensemble. "K-kasumi?"

"No, young lady, I am The Domesticator!" the apron clad girl corrected. "I shall assist you momentarily."

She turned to her target. "So, old man, you insisted that I have not performed my duties? Well, take this: Scrubbing Bubble Blast!"

Steel hard bubbles slammed into the diminutive pervert, knocking him out of the house.

"Hmm, I don't think that was enough," the deranged magical girl said as she considered her next move. "Antiseptic Arrow Storm!"

"GAH!" Happosai screamed in agony as his very soul was cleansed.

"I do not think that he shall bother any of us again. Now, young lady, what is it that I can help you with?" Kasumi's alter ego asked with a pleasant smile.

"What happened while I was gone?" Akane asked, with a hint of panic on her face. "And where is Kasumi?"

The ringing doorbell interrupted the scene.

"I'll get it," Akane said, not wanting people to think that her family were complete weirdoes.

She was surprised to see a courier standing at attention.

"Can I help you?"

"Good afternoon, I have a package for Akane Tendo. Are you able to sign for it?"

"Yes," Akane nodded as she made her mark on the clipboard. "Thank you."

"Thank you," the courier bowed.

Tearing open the padded envelope, Akane saw that she'd received a letter.

'Dear Akane,

By the time you read this, the Ranma you know will be no more.

Don't worry, I'm not dead, but we can never marry.

I want you to know that I want you be happy, and I don't think that us marrying will make that happen.

I'll explain why in this letter, but you should read it somewhere more private.'

Akane looked around to see that Nabiki was curious as to why Akane was standing there with the door open.

"What is it, Akane?" Nabiki asked calmly.

"It's personal," Akane shot back. "Call me when dinner's ready."

* * *

Nabiki sat in her room, thinking about the sudden and, quite frankly, bizarre change in Ranma.

'He's supposed to be an easily manipulated jock,' she thought angrily, 'when the hell did he get the kind of power to make diamonds appear?'

"And what has that idiot done to Kasumi?" she asked out loud. Sighing, she realised that answers weren't going to come to her is she sat in her room. This called for a plan of action.

* * *

Akane lay face down on her bed as she read the letter.

'Akane, you were one of the few people to be unconditionally nice to me, and for that I am grateful.

No doubt you're wondering how I've managed to spell correctly and write in such legible handwriting. Well, the answer is that I'm no longer human.'

Akane frowned when she read that part.

'Yes, you read that correctly. I'm now the Lord of Desire. I grant people's desires as and when I see fit. Sometimes that means good things happening to bad people, but there is supposed to be balance.

'That is why you may see me in the company of two women. One of them is a goddess, the other is a demoness. Their job is to make sure that nothing too evil or too good happens.'

"A likely story," Akane snorted. "I bet he's doing all sorts of perverted things with them."

'Yes, I will be doing all sorts of perverted things with Urd and Mara. It's part of my new nature to do that sort of thing. Besides, ask your sisters what they look like.

'Because you never tried to manipulate me for personal gain, I'll do my best to make sure that Kuno never gets his filthy hands on you.'

"Thank the gods for that," the youngest Tendo sighed in relief. She continued Ranma's letter.

'In case you're wondering why I'm explaining things like this in an adult manner, you always wanted me to understand your feelings better. I'm sorry for being such a jerk, I hope that you're not too heart broken about this "Dear Jane" letter. It's just that I'm pretty sure that things wouldn't have gone so well if I'd told you this in person.

'I know that you're a great person; you just need to take it easy when trying out new things.

'Be strong, Akane, and look after yourself and your friends.

'Take care,

Your friend,

Ranma Saotome.'

Akane sniffed when she finished the letter. "Baka," she whispered.

* * *

Ranma smiled as Mara and Urd snuggled up to him on the Saotome family sofa. "You two are just so much fun to hug, you know that?"

Nodoka looked on in approval. "So then, Ranma, what did you learn on your trip?"

"From Genma? Not that much," Ranma shrugged slightly. "I mean he taught me the basics or martial arts, but after that, he always had me learn things from other masters…"

"Is something wrong, son?" Nodoka asked, concerned evident in her voice.

"No, it's just that the Saotome style wasn't really taught by Pops, but by others. I'll be sure to thank him for that," Ranma muttered darkly.

"I see," Nodoka nodded. "Well, what can you tell me about your new calling?"

"I'm still a little fuzzy on the details, but that's because of the reincarnation process," Ranma explained. "Urd-chan and Mara-chan know more about it than I do."

"Ranma can grant and deny people's desires," Mara said with a smile as she traced patterns on Ranma's chest with her index finger. "He can twist them into hideous mockeries of what people want, or he can make their dreams come true."

"Ranma is also drawn to desires," Urd started added as she too started to play with Ranma's pigtail, "that's why we met you when we did."

A thought occurred to Nodoka. "Will you grant my desire and give me a number of grandchildren?"

"I see your plan," Ranma teased. "The answer is not just yet. To tell you the truth, I need to spend some time with both Urd-chan and Mara-chan to get to know them better and I need to get into my groove for dealing with people's wants and needs."

"And then you'll have children?"

"Of course, the only question is do I stagger the pregnancies or do I make it so they match up to make remembering birthdays easier?" the Lord of Desire replied. He yawned. "But first, it's nap time. Which room is mine again, Mom?"

"First on the left at the top of the stairs," Nodoka answered. "But what about Urd and Mara? Where are they going to sleep?"

"I thought we were sharing a bed, Ranma," Mara answered in a slightly hurt tone.

"We will be, Mara-chan," Ranma insisted, "it's just that I'm not sure that my bed is big enough for three. You can't expect me to choose one of you by Scissors/Paper/Stone."

Urd was a little relieved at that comment; she never was very good at that game.

"But first, I need to stop Nabiki from doing something silly."

* * *

Nabiki sat in her room examining the diamonds that Ranma had left her.

"They don't look too bad," she mused.

¬: POOF:¬

Blinking the smoke from her eyes, she looked back at her desk and frowned.

The box had been replaced with a note.

'Nabiki, those diamonds have been returned to their country of origin. It would have been a bad idea to sell them.

Ranma'

"That jerk, I'll show him," Nabiki vowed, her clenched fist crumpling the paper.

* * *

To be continued…

Pre-reading was done by Chi Vayne as usual.

Well, you probably want to know why I put in the part about Genma's training of Ranma.

Well, it was suggested that aside from the Umisenken and Yamisenken, all Genma taught Ranma was the basics and left the advanced stuff to other teachers. I mean, how often did we see Genma use a Saotome special attack that would actually be useful against something like the Amaguriken? The Cradle from Hell? I think not.

Also, I have decided that being mean to Akane is too easy. That's why she's getting off lightly in this story.

Nabiki is fair game, though.

Are there any other questions?

Until laterer comes


	4. Chapter 4

Dark Heart's Desires

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: You are no match for my Promethean Rage™!

* * *

Part 4 (of X)

* * *

Ranma stirred as the morning light flooded into his room. He was enjoying being woken up in a gentle, pleasant way for once. 

"Wake up, Ranma," Urd said as she kindly shook him. 'Ooh, his muscles are really firm.'

"Hmm, Urd-chan, is that you?" he asked with a smile on his lips. "I was just thinking about you."

"I can see that, Ranma," the goddess dryly noted.

"What? Have I got morning wood or something?"

"Ranma!" Mara called out as she entered the room. "Breakfast is nearly read– oh my!"

"Morning, Mara-chan," Ranma waved. He glanced down and confirmed what the blonde demoness was staring at. "What? You're not trying to tell me that this is the first time you've seen one of these?"

"No, just not in the flesh," the blonde admitted in a quiet voice.

"Mara, are you a virgin?" Urd asked, unable to keep the smirk off her face.

When the shapely infernal being blushed, stammered and generally failed to deny the charge immediately, Urd knew what the truth was.

"Hahahahahahah," she laughed. "I can't believe that you're still a virgin after all this time! I thought you would have at least hooked up with an incubus at some point."

Ranma saw Mara's eyes started to tear up and frowned. "Hey, Mara-chan," he smiled to reassure his girlfriend, "come here."

Mara didn't move. Instead tears were now falling.

Throwing the covers from his body, Ranma stood up and strode to over to the doorway, past the still giggling goddess.

"Mara," he barked. "You will join me for breakfast and accompany me to school. Urd will be staying at home for being mean to you."

"WHAT? That's not fair!" the goddess protested.

"Actually, it is," the Lord of Desire corrected. "As I've got business to attend to at school, you get to make inroads with my mother without interference from Mara-chan. It's swings and roundabouts, Urd-chan."

"It doesn't seem that she's being punished," Mara sniffed.

"Ah," Ranma smiled, "you get to sit on my lap while we eat breakfast. Come on, you two, it's ready now."

He grabbed his infernal girlfriend by the hand and led her downstairs, seemingly unmindful of his current state of dress – a pair of yellow boxer shorts and a white undershirt.

Mara blushed as both she and Urd noticed what Ranma was wearing.

Urd pouted. "D'oh!"

* * *

Nodoka was a little surprised to see her manly son take his place (un)dressed as he was. Her surprise turned into a smile when he pulled Mara onto his lap and smiled at the girl in the tight leather trousers. 

"What are your plans for today, son?" the woman in the kimono asked as she served up breakfast.

"I've got some unfinished business at Furinkan, and I want to take Mara on a bit of a tour," Ranma explained. "Urd's been naughty, so she's staying her with you, Mom. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, not at all," Nodoka smiled as the goddess in question took her seat. "Please eat up."

A chorus of "ittadakimasu" was heard before they all dug into the excellent meal.

* * *

After breakfast, Ranma quickly washed up and dressed in his usual manner, selecting a black shirt for what he planned to his last visit as a student to Furinkan High School. 

Descending the stairs, he saw Mara standing there, dressed in her low-slung, black leather trousers and black and purple lacy corset.

"How are we getting to school, Ranma?" the cute demoness asked, her hands behind her back. "I can transport us there using a CD."

"I was thinking more along the lines of roof-hopping," the pigtailed young man smiled. "But that would mean I have to carry you. That's not a problem, is it?"

Mara glomped Ranma as he stepped onto the hallway. "That'd be perfect, Ranma!"

Stepping outside, Ranma waved goodbye to Nodoka and Urd. Moments later, he had scooped the demoness up in his arms and held her against his chest.

"Don't worry, I won't let you fall," the Lord of Desire smiled reassuringly.

* * *

The trip to Furinkan was over far too quickly for Mara's liking, but Ranma didn't seem too fazed by her protests when he landed lightly just inside the gate. 

"You know what they say about good things, Mara-chan," the pigtailed Saotome smiled.

"Yeah, but you know, it was nice to be held in your arms like that," Mara pouted cutely.

"You make it sound like it's not going to happen again anytime soon," Ranma said in a slightly hurt tone. "Don't you like me?"

"Of course I like you, Ranma," the blonde insisted. "I'll prove it!"

Mara stepped up to Ranma and engaged him in a lip-lock/glomp combination that would have made a horde of amorous Amazons jealous.

Five minutes later, as the kiss was ending, Tatewaki Kuno entered the school grounds with his usual arrogant strut.

"What's this? An unknown woman on the hallowed grounds of Furinkan?" he asked rhetorically. "I cannot allow her to go unescorted, lest the unsavoury Saotome get his filthy hands on her! Fair Maiden!"

"What? Who are you?" Mara asked as she turned around to face the newcomer.

"I am the great Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" the kendoist announced.

"Oh," the demoness shrugged before turning her attention back to Ranma.

"Fair Maiden, it is not safe for you to walk in Nerima unescorted," Kuno insisted. "The foul sorcerer Saotome would ensnare you for unspeakable debauchery in his harem!"

"He would?" Mara asked half appalled, half excited by the notion.

"Yeah, but only if you wanted to take part in said 'unspeakable debauchery'," Ranma answered, stepping into Kuno's line of sight.

"Saotome, you foul wretch!" the kendoist growled. "What manner of depravity are you planning to unleash on this innocent flower?"

"I'm not that innocent," the blonde interjected with a grin.

"WHAT? The fiend has already taken advantage of you? Intolerable! Have at you!" Kuno screamed as he drew his bokken.

"Not today, dumbass!" Ranma grinned as he fell into a stance. "And not any other day!"

As the enraged kendoist swung, he blinked when the hit failed to connect with Ranma.

The Lord of Desire held the wooden blade in a vice-like grip as he stared his attacker down. "You think you're some kind of samurai? Well, shall we see how you'd fare on the field of battle?"

"What?" Kuno demanded as he disappeared in a flash of light.

"What did you do to him?" Mara asked.

Ranma turned to face his infernal friend. "He sees himself as a noble warrior, so I thought it would be nice to see just how good he is. Here, look at this."

The two supernatural beings looked at the vision that the Lord of Desire had conjured in the palm of his left hand.

* * *

Kuno found himself lying face up in a courtyard. 

"Where am I?" he asked the seemingly empty space.

"You there!" a retainer bellowed at the delusional kendoist. "How dare you interrupt such an important archery contest?"

"Contest?" Kuno repeated as he rose to his feet. "Where am I? This is fault of that fiend Saotome."

"Saotome?" a finely dressed man asked the man on his left. "Did you make this man fall from the sky and interrupt today's proceedings?"

"No, my lord," a raven haired man of about 25 answered respectfully. "I must humbly apologise, for my skills fall far short of making people appear from nowhere."

"I see," the lord of the manor smiled. "So then, stranger, what is your name?"

"I am Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School, rising star of the kendo world," the displaced student answered pompously. "Who might you be?"

"How dare y-" Saotome was cut off from his protest by a hand gesture.

"I am Reiji Utsunomiya, daimyo of Shimotsuke province," the nobleman replied. "I see that you are carrying a bokken, I take it you think of yourself as something of a modern day Musashi? How very droll. Yoshikawa."

"My lord," a brown-haired man replied with a bow.

"You will have a practice match with our visitor," Utsunomiya instructed. "It has been a while since I last saw you defeat a man with a practice sword."

"By your command, Utsunomiya-dono," the swordsman bowed respectfully before preparing himself for his latest task.

"To challenge the Blue Thunder with a sword is as foolhardy as naked honey gathering," Kuno arrogantly shook his head. "Prepare yourself for a swift defeat."

Yoshikawa blinked audibly. "If you say so, Kuno-san, but I am not familiar with the exploits of the 'Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School'. However, despite having slain over a hundred of my lord's foes on the battlefield, I know that perhaps you could be skilled opponent and should not be underestimated."

As the two swordsmen faced off, the archery contestants stood down, waiting for their lord's orders.

"Surely this newcomer must be a skill opponent to challenge Yoshikawa-sama so brazenly," the younger of the two archers commented.

"Perhaps," the older one mused. He winced when he saw the mysterious challenger take a powerful but simple hit to the forearm. "Then again, perhaps he is merely an idiot?"

"You managed to land a clean hit, you are skilled," Kuno acknowledged. "Perhaps it is time for one of my finest techniques. Strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike-strike!"

The warrior dodged the rapid thrusts from his junior opponent without too much trouble, though his kimono was looking the worse for wear, the air pressure having made several tears in it.

"Not too bad, but that attack won't see you to victory on the battlefield, or even today," Yoshikawa stated.

The senior combatant charged his foe in the somewhat stereotypical samurai fashion.

"You will have to do better than that," Kuno smirked as he reacted to what he thought was going to happen.

Unfortunately, Yoshikawa's signature move wasn't the simple charge and slash that the high school student was expecting. Instead, the battle-hardened warrior jumped to his right and jammed his bokken into the left side of Kuno's ribcage.

The transported kendoist slumped to the floor before jumping up and declaring "I fight on!"

Yoshikawa frowned, but launched into another assault on his opponent, this time opting for a series of rapid strikes to the head, back and arms.

Moments later, Kuno fell into unconsciousness.

"Wonderful, Yoshikawa, absolutely wonderful," Utsunomiya applauded.

"My lord, what shall we do with him?" a frowning Yoshikawa asked as he looked at his kimono.

"Hmm, he provided me with some amusement, I suppose, so just take him to the local village and leave him there to fend for himself."

* * *

Back at Furinkan, Ranma turned to face Mara. "So then, do you think I should bring him back?" 

"Meh," the blonde demoness shrugged, "if you really want to, but I can think of a much better way for us to spend our time together."

"You so naughty, Mara," the Lord of Desire mock scolded as his lady friend traced patterns on his chest. "I love it. Let's go inside and see how much fun we can have."

As the two immortals entered the building, the Tendo sisters arrived. The oldest of the pair noticed the absence of school idiot.

"Hey, where's Kuno?" Nabiki asked, the lack of her biggest customer was slightly unnerving her.

"Who cares, I'm just glad that I don't have to deal with him for once," the muscular girl snorted. "He'll turn up, he always does. Let's just get to class."

* * *

Ranma's homeroom went silent the moment the pigtailed youth walked in holding Mara's hand. 

"Good evening," the blue-eyed immortal greeted with a cheeky grin. "Today is my last day here at Furinkan. After today, I'll be leaving for all sorts of fun with Mara here,"

"Another one, Saotome?" a voice called out from the crowd. "You're getting as bad as Kuno says."

Ranma snorted. "You make it sound like I'm a manwhore. Understandable enough, what with how Nabiki pimped me out and sold dirty photos of me."

"But what about Akane?" Daisuke asked as he got off his desk.

"What about her? We're no longer engaged, who she's going out with is none of my concern. But," the Lord of Desire added, "I'll know if someone's forcing her to do anything she doesn't want to."

"How come?" asked his friend.

"He knows all about people's desires," Mara grinned as she hugged Ranma. "And he can grant any that amuse him in any way he wishes."

"Like what?" a brave soul piped up.

"Who wants to see Kuno float in the air above the teacher's desk?"

A few hands slowly went up.

"Ok then," Ranma said as he snapped his fingers.

A bruised and battered Tatewaki Kuno appeared over the teacher's desk. The injured youth started to rotate slowly, the motion waking him up.

"What manner of sorcery is this?" he demanded.

"Middle of the road stuff, Kuno, nothing too foul or villainous, it is early after all," the pigtailed immortal smirked. "By the way, did you enjoy your duel with Yoshikawa?"

"What? How did you know about that?" Kuno shouted angrily. "I knew it! You were behind the whole thing!"

"Yawn-fest," Ranma said as he rolled his eyes. "Time for you to go to your class, Kuno."

As the suspended student started to float out the doorway, Akane Tendo entered the room.

"What's going on here?"

"My fierce tigress!" Tatewaki gushed. "Unfortunately I am indisposed right now, but rest assured that as soon as I get down, I will smite the demonic wretch Saotome!"

"Quiet, you," the Tendo heir said as she batted the bane of her existence to one side. "What's going on, Ranma?"

"Hi Akane," the pigtailed youth waved. "This is Mara, she's my new assistant."

"What does she 'assist' you with?" Akane asked with narrowed eyes.

"That would be telling," the demoness winked saucily.

The Tendo heir's blood pressure started to reach dangerously high levels. "Y-y-you…"

"Calm down, Akane, you're no longer his fiancée, remember?" Mara explained with an infuriating, at least to the youngest Tendo, smile.

"Yeah, but..." Akane was cut off by the arrival of the teacher.

"What's going on here? Why are you here, Miss…?"

"She's with me," Ranma explained. "That's all you need to know. That and the fact that I'm leaving Furinkan after today."

"Ok. Take your seats, everyone."

* * *

In Nabiki's classroom, the middle Tendo daughter was considering what to do to get revenge on Ranma. 

She was surprised to hear that Ranma was actually attending school that morning, though it was with a beautiful woman. 'Mara, judging by the description I got from Chiaki.'

The middle Tendo daughter's thoughts were interrupted by Kuno stumbling into the room.

"That foul sorcerer has gone too far," the delusional student complained loudly. "First he ensnares and corrupts an exotic maiden, then he has the gall to use his most villainous magic to date in an attempt to incapacitate me."

"Kuno, I'm only going to tell you once, shut up and sit down," the teacher sternly instructed.

The Principal's son acquiesced but he was still clearly unhappy about the whole situation and a number of students could have sworn that they heard the sound of cogs and gears whirring from his head.

"Nabiki Tendo, I require your talents."

The brunette in question faced her easiest mark. "For what?"

"I need to know how Nerima's unsavoury menace has regained its strength and insidious powers so quickly and what can be done to vanquish him once and for all," Kuno explained, managing to somehow sounding noble despite his dishevelled appearance.

"I can't say for certain, but I heard that Saotome is in league with a devil of some sort. I could find out some more, but I do have expenses, you know," Nabiki replied with her usual poker face.

"But of course," the less than immaculate kendoist acknowledged as he reached for his wallet.

* * *

Ranma's homeroom teacher looked up from his desk. "Saotome, why is that girl sitting on your lap?" 

"Because it'd be distracting, not to mention unfair, if she sat on my face," the Lord of Desire replied with a straight face.

"Oh, ok," the teacher nodded. "What?"

"I said that people might hate me if Mara-chan was sitting on my face," a bored Ranma stated.

"I can't say that I approve of this behaviour!" the bespectacled man huffed.

"I didn't seek your approval. And I never will."

The class went deadly silent. Yes, Ranma had certainly flaunted rules in the past, namely the ones governing uniforms and fighting, but he had never directly challenged a teacher that hadn't threatened him first before.

"Principal's office. Now," the teacher ordered.

"Good call, Sensei, I want to speak with him," Ranma smiled. He gave his infernal girlfriend a quick squeeze. "Hey, Mara, do you want to watch me in action?"

"Of course, I love to watch you in action, Ranma," Mara said in a stage whisper as she licked Ranma's left earlobe.

"You keep that up, and I'll have to give you a bare bottom spanking," the pigtailed immortal laughed.

"A bare bottomed spanking? I like the sound of that," the sexy blonde purred. "This class is so boring, you know."

Looking around, the two eternal beings smiled at the results of their little game – the females in the room were all wearing atomic blushes, while most of the boys had passed out from blood loss from their bloody noses.

"Well, that's for later," Ranma decided. "Let's go shove a pineapple up the Principal's fundament."

**

* * *

**

Principal Kuno sat frowning in his office. He wasn't expecting Ranma to be back so soon, and this new girl of his just screamed "trouble".

"I betta deal wit' da keikies," the tanned man said as he checked the batteries in his favourite pair of clippers.

The door burst open to reveal Ranma, clad in his black outfit with Mara in tow. There was something drastically wrong with this situation, but that was to do with the look of malicious intent on the pair's faces.

"Principal, I've been wanting to have words with you for some time. You even think about touching Mara's hair, and I'll use those clippers to cut your balls off. Got that?" the pigtailed visitor asked.

The dark skinned man gulped nervously. "Y-y-ya can't threaten me."

"He only warned you," Mara corrected as she locked the doors shut. "Now, I believe that you tried to take advantage of Ranma when he was weakened. Care to say anything in your defence?"

"Have at you!" a voice declared from the closet in the west corner of the room.

"Kuno? What are you doing in that closet?" Ranma asked, trying not to allow his smirk to affect his otherwise calm demeanour. "Are you trying to find the right time to come out?"

Mara's giggle was like music to her boyfriend's ears. "How long have you been in the closet, Kuno-kun?"

"You do realise that this makes lots of sense, what with his attitudes to women," the blue-eyed immortal mused.

"What?" the two Kunos demanded.

"Yes, I think that several therapists would agree that his narcissism is merely a mask, designed to keep his true feelings and appetites away from the public view," the blonde nodded. "Tell me, Kuno-kun, did anybody touch you in your special areas when you were a child?"

"That's an outrageous accusation!" the principal shouted as he thumped his hands on his desk.

"That sounds rather suspicious if you ask me," Mara said in an aside to her companion.

"And it would make sense with Kodachi…" realisation dawned upon Ranma's face. "You sick bastard! What did you do to your own daughter?"

"That was her mother!"

"Pardon?" the immortals chorused.

"Did you just blame your deceased wife for your failure to raise well-adjusted children?" Mara asked in a tone that promised much pain for the man obsessed with all things Hawaiian. "Because if you did, then you're going to a very special layer of hell."

The Principal gulped.

"I think we can take that as a 'yes', Mara-chan. Since my job is to grant desires, and a number of people want to have new principal, how should we go about it?"

"Hmm," the demoness hummed. "To be honest, this whole sordid affair is making my stomach churn. Let's just get this over with as quickly as possible."

"You're absolutely Right, Mara-chan," Ranma smiled as his girlfriend and clicked his fingers. The older Kuno disappeared in a puff of blue-grey smoke just as Tatewaki fell out of the closet.

"What have you done, Saotome?" the kendoist demanded.

"Dealt with your troublesome father. Now, if you'll excuse me, Mara-chan and I want some fresh air."

* * *

To be continued… 

That seemed like a good place to end this chapter, so it's the end of the chapter.

This was pre-read by Chi Vayne, as per the norm.

Yes, the scene with the closet was inspired by that episode of South Park.

I haven't yet decided upon the catalyst for Nabiki's punishment, though I have decided what one part of said punishment will be.

Any questions should be directed via a review or comment on my livejournal as my main email is out of action at the moment.

Until laterer comes.


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